For your delectation and delight, we are offering two, yes 2 poems today, as they are related.
One of our Committee members (Marilyn Nolan) admitted that she had written a few poems “in the style of Pam Ayres”, and she has recently sent them through to me. I am starting with 2 related ones – here goes…..
ODE TO A MOUSE
(An ode written for my husband’s friend)
A mouse should be a tiny creature, as timid as can be,
A man should be big and strong, a real man just like me.
A male of my acquaintance looks dominant and tough
But listen to him squeaking, fleas are made of stronger stuff!
I phone him up and ask him, “Can you come out to play?”
This little voice starts squeaking “I can’t come out today”
My wife has gone out shopping, more money I must pay,
And so I can’t spend any, she took my car away!
I can’t believe I’m hearing this; I’m master in my house,
I thought he was a real man, but he’s just a …kin’ mouse!!
PS I promised my beloved, I wouldn’t go out tonight,
And I squeaked for half an hour, till this poem did she write!!
ODE TO A CAR THIEF
(An ode written for my husband’s friend’s wife)
A woman’s place is in the home, cooking for her spouse
Even if “him indoors” is just a …kin’ mouse!!
You cannot go out shopping and do just as you like
If you really must go out at all, make sure you use your bike!!
It’s not as if he eats much, after all he’s just a mouse
No need to shop for food, so, stay indoors and clean the house!
Ne needs his car each day you see, your gadding out must stop,
Without it we have no transport to travel to our “shop”.
So leave his bloody car alone, it isn’t pink, it’s red,
Let him be a real man, have this chocolate car instead!!
PS To get my wife to write this, I really had to pay,
I’ve got to do the ironing for ever and a day!!